One step forward, two steps back
This week has been busy but exciting! I posed my question in my last post “How can parents better connect with their children?” and since then have been thinking a lot about this. But first, I feel like I should post a little backstory as to why I am passionate about this particular question…
My husband and I talked about adoption ever since we started dating. We knew that this was how we wanted to grow our family and when we got married, we started the (what turned out to be an excruciating 5 year long) adoption process. During this time we read and researched all things adoption-parenting related. We learned so much about the importance of attachment, bonding and connection and how it is a vital part of a child’s development. Once our son came home (at 15 months old) we worked extremely hard, doing all of the things we read about (baby wearing, rocking to sleep, meeting every need, etc) to build the trust and attachment that was needed for him to thrive. Our son is now 6 years old and is doing wonderfully… but I have noticed that now that he is 6, way more active, independent, cares about friends, and has his own interests and opinions, it is harder to find moments to connect on a deeper level (because you know, he won’t let me feed him or rock him to sleep anymore...go figure) So, as I thought about him and my genius hour question this week, I knew that I needed to dive into some more research, but this time, for ways to connect to older children.
During the research that I started this week, I found that there were similar threads and themes throughout the different resources that I was referring too. It seems that if you are wanting to better connect to your children or strengthen your relationship with them, there are things that absolutely need to be done. These include:
+ Making time. But not time where you are distracted by your phone or emails. You need to carve out time in your day (free of distraction) to be intentional with your child.
+ Physical Connections. Hugs, kisses, a hand on the shoulder all help children feel connected and close to you.
+ Communicate, listen, empathize. Let your child feel any emotion and when they share, really listen.
+ Have FUN! This seems easy, but for a lot of adults who are busy and stressed, fun takes intention too.
Some questions that I need to consider are: what does he like? What times are best for us to carve out and be together each day? How can I encourage more communication? How can I show him that I actively listen to him when he shares? How can I have/be more fun?
So where do I go from here? I am going to continue to research, do some more brainstorming, and even go right to the source (my son) for some more inspiration. I hope to take what I have learned, and come up with a way that helps parents better connect with their children.
